Happy Dependence Day
Jul. 5, 2005 - 4:39 am

by: Deacon
 
 

Monday was the day Americans gathered together to celebrate their independence from oppressive corporate and empirical rule, without even a hint of irony. They shoot fireworks to symbolize the brave men and women who on that very day were risking their lives to drop bombs on civilians in Afghanistan and Iraq. And they also eat a lot of red meat and drink heavily, but not really any more than a normal Monday.

It was also the day NASA successfully crashed a space probe into a comet (not to be confused with all the times they've accidentally crashed probes into things) to mine it for dilitium crystals. The not-quite-cleverly named Deep Impact probe goes to show that you really can hit a bullet with a bullet, if your goal is to succeed and not to divert billions of dollars of taxpayer money to defense contractors who will use it to create orbital weapons platforms, which the Alpha Centaurians will be amused to see pointing down.

Indeed, on the same day that America's intellectual elite accomplished the impossible, the bulge in the bell curve took to the streets and celebrated their ignorance. If there's a point to be made here, it's that all Americans like to blow shit up.

 


 

Those of you with short attention spans, which is probably all of you, should go back and read last week's comics again so you get what's going on in today's strips. If that's too much work for you, here's a summary: guest artist Battle Dwarf creates non-canon story arc about Gordon fucking Ilene. Presumably, the B.D. relates to Gordon on a mayo-fucking level and wants to see him succeed for once.

Incidentally, I got interviewed (via email) by some sort of Dutchie blogzine doing an article about webcomics. I'll post linkage when the article is "printed." One assumes it will be amusing if for nothing more than seeing my quote translated into Dutch and out again. According to the server logs, a non-zero segment of our readership actually translates the site into some dialect of forn. I shudder to think what Babelfish does to my already borderline incomprehensible prose, nevermind words like rantenspiel and demigogue.


 
 
 

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