It's ironic but utterly predictable that the same people fighting tooth-and-lawyer to prevent stem cells from saving any lives are the same people who tried to keep anorexia poster-girl Terry Schiavo on life support. Thanks to the misguided zeal of a few ignorant religious nutters and their congressional representatives, the former White Woman of the Moment is getting another fifteen minutes (posthumously), thanks to the public release of her autopsy results.

In the enlightened Elven homeland across the Atlantic this would've been a non-story, because anyone not blinded by God could tell just by looking that her brain had turned to goo (the medical term is hypocranial gooification). But since it happened in the United States of Amentia, there is not enough scientific evidence in the cosmos to convince her parents that she wasn't going to get better. Apparently all she needed was a little therapy, which they could've provided at home better than all those doctors and healthcare professionals (some of whom, statistically speaking, had to have been Christian) who worked on her for 15 years.

Republican Senator and ex-doctor Bill Frist originally determined (from a rigorous hour of TV watching) that Schiavo "seems to respond to visual stimuli" which would seem to be in direct conflict with the findings of the autopsy that she was, in fact, completely blind. Not so, according to Frist, who now claims he never said any such thing. "I wouldn't even attempt to make a diagnosis from a videotape," said Frist. Which would have been a wise stricture to adhere to, if in fact he had.

Certainly in the context of people claiming the autopsy was wrong, Frist looks like a pretty level-headed guy. Politicians try to re-write history and deny their own bone-headed outbursts all the time. Denial is about as close to admitting they were wrong as most politicians ever get. Without backpedaling, the congressional bicycle would never go anywhere.

Fortunately for those of us not yet Schiavo'd out, George Bush's other idiot son has a plan to keep her in the news long after her (literal) expiration date. Jeb wants a probe into her collapse, fifteen years ago. What's that you're grasping at Jeb? Is it grass? Hay? Graphite golf club shafts? Damn, I never was any good at charades.

It seems that now that we have two artists, we're only getting one comic per week drawn. Go read The Mythical Man-Month if you want to understand why. The upshot is that I've been posting one fan-drawn or alt-dialog remix comic a week, and now I'm out.

Today's (non-UAC) fan art was submitted by reportedly well-hung reader BobJustBob. Bob may find small-dick jokes hilarious but I'm sure I'll be listening to Fuzz crying in the bathroom again tonight. At least that's what happened last time he bounced off a girl's hymen.

Anyway, once again I'm reduced to begging for fan submissions so I don't have to do all the Photoshopping myself. As a service to those of you who, out of the goodness of your hearts, choose to send me something, I've posted the official UAC font here. Just so we don't get any more atrocities done in Courier.

As always, send your completed masterpieces in JPG or GIF format (750 pixels wide or less) to deacon@uacomic.com. And don't put anything about low rate mortgages or CHEAP HERBAL V|AGRA in the subject line or I won't read it.